My first crush

Most of us in our childhood days must have fallen in love or had some crush on someone.

I used to be a very shy boy during my schooling days. I always turned my eyes down whenever I happened to see any girl. I studied in the boys’ school. My first crush, which I actually remember is when I was in class XII. My school was 8 kms away from home and I used to commute through DTC busses. During those days, majority of the students of different schools used to commute through DTC busses. I had never been so enthusiastic about the girls who managed to travel with me on the same bus.

One day, my friend, just out of a curiosity told me about one girl who got a very magnificent personality and who also used to board the bus from the same bus stop, where I was attached to board. He showed me the girl one day. I started gazing her daily just to know more about her. I came to know later that she is from the same place and lives within my vicinity. Apparently I started liking her presence around me in the bus. Luckily her school was also at the same place where mine was and the school timings was only of half an hour difference.

Those were the days when for the first time in my life I started watching a girl very intently. I had always tried to get the nearest seat to her on the bus, as there was quite a rush on the busses during those early mornings. Busses instantly get filled in few minutes.

I am still amused when I recall my earlier days, when I quickly latched on to the ladies seat after I boarded the bus. Seeking she would come and I would offer my seat to her and give her my school bag to hold. This continued for a few months, but I never tried to say a single word to her apart from giving her my bag.

There were times when my school gets closed earlier than the normal timings because of various reasons. But I never went back home early. As I used to wait for the afternoon bus when she would also be there. I was accustomed to wait many hours to go home with her. I never showed her that my eyes only wanted to see her. Many a times my heart got butchered when she talked with other boys. So I finally decided that I would talk to her one day.

And the day that I had chosen, was my birthday. Luckily there was no holiday on that day. I knew that she would come, so I was waiting to let her pass my house so that I can follow easily. At last she came with her sister and I started following her to the bus stop. I was urging and motivating myself to speak to her. I gathered all my strength & accosted her before the bus stop and said.

“Excuse me, Excuse me”
‘Yes!’
(I was carrying chocolates on occasion of my birthday. I took it out in my hand and said…)
“Today is my birthday and this is for you”
‘Me? SORRY.’
(I didn’t know what to say that time, so I said…)
“Neeraj samajh ke le lo”
(Neeraj was her brother) [ohh shit, what I said, but that time I really didn’t know what to say].
She took the chocolate. I also gave one to her sister.

The 8 km journey that day was the most embarrassing of my life, as she, her sister, and all of her friends kept laughing at me and passing indirect comments on me.

My crush episode got over and now after so many long years I have moved on to another. If I recall my memories then I can tell you that it is altogether a very different feeling and one should definitely live up to it.

Bachpan ki wo sunhari yaadein, aksar puchha karti hein,
Ki agar tum yeh karte to yeh hota,
Agar tum woh karte, to woh hota,
Magar mera yeh bechara mann, kahan suna karta tha..
Dilaasa mein khud ko deta hoon, ki pehle to mein bachcha tha,
Ab hoga to mein yeh karoonga,
Tab hoga to mein woh karoonga,
Pyaar mile ya na mile, dosti zaroor karoonga, aur neeraj nahin banooga.